I’ve spent a lot of time lately reflecting on the words ‘equal’ and ‘same.’   I won’t get into the details of why; let’s just say that a recent conversation left me pondering the difference between the two words.    Note that I said equal not equality.  I do realize that equality means to be equal, but that’s where the confusion sets in for me. 

Equal: a person or thing considered to be the same as another in status or quality.

Same: of an identical type; exactly similar.

 Equality: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

I believe in equality.  It goes without saying (I hope) that we all want to be treated equally, to be seen as equal in the eyes of those around us.  But do we all want to be the same?  Sticky question, right, given the definitions above ?  I’ll answer for myself—I do not want to be the same as everyone else, nor do I want everyone else to be the same as me. 

 Did your parents ever tell you that you were unique, that you were one of a kind, that NO ONE else in the world was exactly like you?  I hope that they did, because if they didn’t then you really missed out.  I remember as a child hearing that, just like snowflakes, no two people are exactly the same (a little simplistic, but you get the idea).  The world that I grew up in, the world that I raised my children in, is different from the world that I live in today. 

 I believe that we have a right to embrace our uniqueness, our cultures, our backgrounds without judgement. 

 But I am human, and I am sometimes judgmental.  I judge other people by their actions, by how they treat others, by their kindness (or lack thereof).   I expect the same in return.  I will treat you with kindness, with respect. That doesn’t mean I will walk on eggshells, that I will guard every conversation for fear of saying the wrong thing.  If I ask the origin of your name because I find it beautiful and unique, I am not judging you.  If your cultural background is different from mine and I show an interest in learning more, I am not judging you.  I want to learn what makes you unique.

 We can be equal without being the same.  Each of us has a story, and you’ve heard mine.  I’d love to hear yours.

Photo by Ben Weber on Unsplash