Book clubs are great. I love that they bring people together, face to face (or screen to screen), to participate in actual conversation. That’s so refreshing, given this text-message-driven world in which we live.

Alas, I don’t belong to a book club. I’ve tried, and I haven’t been able to stick to it (that’s an awful thing for an author to admit). Ironically, I LOVE being a ‘guest’ at book clubs. In fact, if you invite me to attend/speak at your book club (in person if I can get there in less than 90 minutes, virtually if the drive is too far), I will almost certainly accept. I’ve done it many times—in person and via video, for payment and for free. And, in almost every situation, I’ve had a blast. The operative word is almost.

Wonder about the almost? Well, since I promise no B.S. in my writing, I’ll share my honest thoughts on my experiences as a book club “guest” by sharing some of my dos and don'ts for those of you who invite authors (i.e., me) to speak at your book club.

DO:

• Ask me to attend. You likely won’t get David Baldacci to say ‘yes,’ but you may be surprised at how many lesser-known authors will, including me!

• Be willing to host virtually if distance is an issue. Note: please be prepared by testing your technology beforehand to make sure you know how to host a virtual meeting.

• Read the book. It’s shocking how many people show up to a book club meeting having never read the book. I’ll tell you it’s fine, but I really wish you’d read the book since I’m showing up to discuss it.

• Admit it if have haven’t read the book. I will likely ask if everyone has read it (that’s a fair question, given the nature of the event). Rest assured; someone will ask a question that’s a total give-away that they didn’t read the book.

• Look over my website before the meeting to see the Book Club Questions posted there. You’re certainly not limited to those questions, but they’re a good starting point.

• Start on time.

• End on time.

• Bring your book if you purchased a print copy. Authors LOVE signing books!

• Ask me to tell you my favorite part of the book, because I can answer without hesitation. But, be prepared, I may crack open my copy and read it to you!

• Ask questions! That’s why I’m there!! Personally, I have an ‘ask me anything’ policy, so don’t be shy!

DON’T:

• Try to debate my work with the me. If I’m there to discuss my memoir, then please don’t tell me that you ‘disagree.’ You’re disagreeing with my experiences, my feelings?

• Use what I wrote to draw attention to yourself. Sharing a common experience is a fine way to participate in the conversation but share rather than monopolize.

• Try to ‘one-up’ my writing by proclaiming yourself to be an expert on the subject of the book. If it’s a memoir, then I AM the expert of my life. Most authors are something of an expert as well; it’s their book, after all.

• Allow members of the group to get off-topic. Discussion someone’s vacation takes time away from the actually book (unless it’s pertinent to the discussion, then share away).

• Forget to follow up the next day with a simple ‘thank you.’ Send a text, an email, a private message—anything is acceptable, just don’t neglect to do it.

Think I’m too harsh? Do I sound like a book-club-hater? Don’t get me wrong, I meant it when I said that I LOVE speaking at book clubs. I’ve had lots of fun and have met some wonderful people, but we all need reminders from time to time. Unfortunately, most people that operate in the don’t list never even realize it; that’s human nature. Fortunately, I can handle it. I’ve seen it before. And still, I’ll show up and do it again—just ask!